The Hobblewort

© 2004 Michael P. McManus
All rights reserved.

Sam sat on his white leather couch. His right held a cold bottle of beer, his third of the afternoon. He felt relaxed, even though the Steelers were getting blown out at home by Cleveland. He smiled when he saw his seven-year-old daughter walking into and across the red-carpeted den. She was smiling too, and this made Sam feel thankful for everything he had in life.

"Daddy," she said, while tugging at one of her red pigtails, "what are you doing?"

"Well, Kelly. Right now, Daddy's watching the Steelers get beat by Cleveland. Why? What should Daddy be doing?"

"Mommy said you're always watching a game. That's why she said she wanted to disappear."

Sam laughed, amused at his daughter's innocent confession. "Maybe Daddy should go make up with Mommy. I think she'll like that. I hope she didn't disappear!"

"Uh-uh. I helped her disappear. It was easy!"

"You did?" Sam asked, feigning his excitement by moving forward to the edge of the couch, where he made his eyes grow large as if he had just seen a ghost. "And how did you make Mommy disappear? You must have all kinds of magic powers."

"My Hobblewort."

"Your Hobblewort? Wow. I've never heard of a Hobblewort. It must be cool to have one. What does Mommy say about this?"

"She can't talk any more. Remember? The Hobblewort made her disappear."

"That's right. I forgot. I must be getting old." He laughed, enjoying his daughter's imagination. "Can you tell Daddy why your Hobblewort would make Mommy disappear?"

"Sure! It's because he thinks little girls should have fun."

"He talks to you? That must be wonderful."

"Sorta. I can't really hear him out loud. But I can hear him in my head."

"Oh, my. You're a very lucky girl. Daddy loves you very much. Do you know that?"

"Uh-huh. And so does my Hobblewort. He loves me too."

Sam picked up the remote control. He aimed it at the television and pushed the mute button. "Carol," he shouted, "do you know that we have a future writer in the family? You should hear some of the brilliant things that she has to say. Carol?"

Kelly giggled. "Mommy's gone. Mommy's gone. Mommy's gone," she repeated in a sing-song voice.

"Carol," Sam shouted again, wondering why she hadn't answered, "will you please come in here for second?"

"Don't yell, Daddy. I told you, Mommy's gone."

Sam smiled. His wife must have run down to the store. "Where did Mommy go?"

"In my Hobblewort. I told you that before. Are you listening to me, Daddy?"

Sam got up off the couch. "Of course I am, Kelly. I'll always listen to you. Can you tell me where your Hobblewort came from?"

"I think it came from the other side of the world."

"Cool! How do you know that?"

"'Cause he told me. He told me that's where all grown-ups belong. The other Hobbleworts watch the grown-ups once they go there."

"Will you show me your Hobblewort?"

"Maybe," Kelly said.

"Why wouldn't you show Daddy?"

"I will if you say you'll disappear with Mommy. It will be fun!"

"Okay," Sam said, rubbing the top of his daughter's head, "I promise to disappear with Mommy."

Sam let go of his daughter's hand as they walked into her bedroom. He froze in place just inside her door. The blue carpet had an irregular, magazine-sized dark stain on it. Pink dots were scattered on one of the room's light blue walls. Then Sam saw something move under the Winnie the Pooh blankets on his daughter's bed.

"What's going on here, Kelly? Have you hidden your cat under the blankets?"

"It gets messy sometimes when you disappear. The Hobblewort told me that before he made Mommy disappear."

Sam laughed, genuinely impressed by his daughter's remarkable showmanship. "Honey," he said teasing her, "maybe I shouldn't disappear."

"Daddy, you promised! Once you promise you can't go back on it. The Hobblewort told me that."

"Kelly, maybe we could go get some ice cream and then come back to clean your room."

The blankets began moving again. Kelly clapped her hands and began to squeal. "Daddy, look. Here he comes. Get ready to disappear!"

The blanket moved at the foot of the bed. Sam heard a steam-like hiss. He began to take a step back, but before he could move, a pencil-thick tentacle shot out from under the blanket. Seconds before it attached to Sam's chest, the tentacle's end blossomed into a bell-shaped, sucking device.

Sam screamed. He reached for his daughter's hand, but she was too busy clapping and singing out, "Daddy's disappearing. Daddy's disappearing," as though her words belonged in a nursery rhyme.

Kelly laughed. She wiped a fine spray of blood off her face. "Good. Good. Good. That was fun! What?" she asked, tilting her head to one side so she could better hear the voice in her head. "Okay. Sure!"

She ran downstairs into the kitchen, where she picked up the cordless phone and dialed a number.

"Hello."

"Aunt Bridgette?"

"Yes, baby. Is this Kelly?"

"Uh-huh."

"What do you want, honey?"

"Would you like to come over to the house and disappear?"

Back to top of page